Time, where are you going?
You’re running away, faster and faster, and I can’t keep up.
It was only the other day, surely, that I left my little girl in her brand new school dress and cardigan at the reception classroom door.
At the start of this journey.
Everything too big – her uniform, the playground, the older kids. Everything making her look even smaller.
She was bewildered. Lost. Frightened to leave her mummy behind, and the comforting first few years at home we’d had together.
I felt bewildered. Lost. Frightened to leave her, knowing that I’d miss my little ankle biter at home. But I plastered that reassuring mum-smile on.
It’ll be ok.
It’s just the end of the first chapter, and the start of an exciting new chapter ahead. A chapter where she will learn, grow and discover her independence.
After all, we had all the time in the world ahead in the innocence of the primary school bubble, didn’t we? No need to panic.
But Time, what are you up to? You didn’t give us all the time in the world. You played a trick on me. You bulldozed through seven years in the blink of an eye.
She now wears her skirt short, her cardigan tatty. Nothing is brand new anymore. To the younger ones, she and her friends are the big ones now. The ones she once looked up to in awe.
And now my little girl is about to leave primary school. A few more days to go before she ventures into the world of tweens, teens and more independence.
I might not feel ready, but she definitely is. One day she was holding my hand, walking to school, then the next day I reached out, but her hand wasn’t there.
Then she no longer wanted to walk with us at all.
She now craves to do things on her own or with her friends. Not with me. But that’s ok. That’s what’s meant to happen. That’s what we bring our children up to do. They can’t rely on us forever.
And I couldn’t be more proud of her, of everything she’s achieved, all the challenges she’s faced head on. These challenges that have made her the strong, bright, funny, caring and engaging girl that she is, ready to take on the world.
It’s just that Time, you frighten me. You move so quickly these days. When I was a child, a year lasted forever. Now I have my own children, you make a year go by in a flash.
So, will you just get faster and faster? Everyone says so. Before I know it, will I be nostalgic for this time? The time when she was in year 6, growing up but still within my reach. Still needing me more than she thinks. Not yet embroiled in the years of teenage angst.
I know I will be.
But Time, as fast as you fly, I’m grateful for you, grateful that we have you.
I know this is how it’s meant to be. I know you can’t stand still. You move on, so do our children, and so must we.
Just one thing though, could you just slow down a little please? Catch your breath. There’s no hurry. Keep her within reach for a little while longer.
I’m not ready to wake up tomorrow and discover another seven years have flown by, and she’s about to leave home. Just hold your horses on that one.
Ok. Tears. And It’s not even 9 oclock. What’s THAT all about MIss Suzie?? xx
Author
Aw shucks I love you Liz. Sorry for making you tear up, I was emosh writing it. What’s going on with this time thing btw? Do you feel like it’s flying by on your travels, or does it slow down with less structure? If so, we’ll have to up sticks and travel the world like you guys. xxxx
Nope. Fraid not… this year has just flown by and only today we booked our flights home. Has been such an emotional day. It doesn’t help with the kids saying things like ‘yeah! We will be able to see our friends and go off and do things with them,’ and all the while I’m fighting back tears just wanting to scream ‘but YOU are My life!!! Please don’t leave me!!’. Pathetic I’m afraid, but true. Don’t know what’s going on with me at the moment, feel, like you, that it’s all going past way too quickly. Love you Susie XX
Author
Must have been so emotional booking those flights home. It seems to me that you just set off on your adventures, so I’ve no idea how quickly the time has lown by for you. I hope it’s been a wonderful whirlwind though. I’ve loved reading your blogs – what an experience to have had with your family and I can only think it’s brought you all even closer together. So, they may run off with their friends when you get back, but they’ll never forget this time with you around the world. But yes, time please stop running away so quickly! Love you too Liz xxxx
Wow your travelling thing has already been a year?! And I LOVE that you and Susie know one another!
Author
I love that we all know each other in this crazy blogging world! love you both xxxxx
Actually made me cry! Xx
Author
Aw love you – felt like crying writing it. It’s everything we’ve been talking about recently. x
So so beautifully written and so so true. I wish I knew a magic trick to slow it down, but I don’t. Enjoy every moment with your children, you’re a wonderful mum! X
Author
Thank you so much for reading Lieve. You’re right, we just have to enjoy every minute and cherish these precious times. Thank you for your lovely words as always. xxxx
I’m with you. Am currently battling the emotion of leaving the only school my kids have been at for 11 years and the realisation my 14yo is entering exam prep stage (yes I AM still calling it O-levels to answer your question on Insta the other day lol). I feel cheated tbh. I just can’t understand how in 4 years’ time (when I remember everything about my summer 4 years ago) my eldest will have left the nest. Am just bereft.
Author
I’m feeling your pain lovely – 4 years does just seem like yesterday.It’s all just got to slow down surely? But I’ve a feeling it’s only going to speed up isn’t it…hope you’re enjoying the summer hols. I’m hoping they’re not going to zip by in the bat of an eye! Big love to you Prabs xx
It all goes by so fast. Sometimes the dreaded Facebook memories show me memories and I can hardly believe that it’s really been that long! How have I survived parenting for that long. Look how tiny they were. Look how young I was. lol
But yes, I have probably shed more tears this past 2 months over my kids than I may ever have.