It’s Quiz Time For All Mr S.H.I.T.s Out There

It's Quiz Time For All The Mr Shits Out There

Life as Mr S.H.I.T. is obviously wonderful and he counts his lucky stars every morning he wakes up to the joy that is Mrs S.H.I.T, but sometimes it can be hard.

There are times when he knows what he really wants to do and say, but knows it is wise to refrain, and does what will keep his life worth living for another sunny day in the S.H.I.T. household. 

So, here is a little quiz for all Mr S.H.I.T.s out there, to see how we are all doing in our quest for the perfect family life.

You walk in from a long day in the office, knackered and grumpy, after staring into some bloke’s stinky armpit on the tube home. You try to put a cheery sing-song voice on when saying “I’m home!” to your beautiful family, but your wife glares at you as if you are the steamiest turd she has ever laid eyes on. And the kids don’t bother looking up from iPaddy, except the youngest, only to say “yuk, you’re a big giant smelly poo poo.” Do you:

A) keep the sing-songy voice up and tell your wife to put her feet up – she must have had a really tough day, poor love – give her a glass of wine and proceed to start the battle of getting the kids to bed, while simultaneously dishing up a delicious dinner?

B) feel hurt and rejected but still listen to your wife’s 45 minute download (without taking a breath) about the trials of her day, including the usual rant about her incompetent boss, the injustice of your child not making the tiddlywinks’ team, and could you not be such a moron and be better at putting your dishes in the dishwasher? All the time nodding in the right places but only catching every 15th word.

C) dump your coat and shoes in the middle of the hall just to really annoy your wife, storm upstairs muttering I don’t know why I bother, and proceed to watch Gazza’s best football moments on your phone, ignoring all heckling at you from downstairs?

Your wife keeps going on about the ‘Hot Dad’ at school and giggles with her friends about him, as they sit round your kitchen table, drinking the entire contents of your fine wine fridge, and eating their own bodyweight in pop chips, as if you don’t exist. Do you:

A) fill up their glasses and offer round the pop chips, smiling sweetly and agreeing that Hot Dad really does look a bit like Bradley Cooper?

B) feel wounded and wonder if anyone ever thought to refer to you as Hot Dad, especially your wife? You suggest this to the group of ladies, though cannot be heard as their voices get louder and louder until they are blatantly just talking over one other. You are invisible.

C) tell them all that’s it’s completely out of order to be discussing this poor man as if he’s some sex object, and the last time you suggested that Taylor Swift was a tiny bit attractive, Mrs S.H.I.T. went ape shit and wouldn’t speak to you for two whole days. Then flounce out as you hear them all burst out laughing?

You have kindly given your wife a couple of hours off, and told her you will singlehandedly mind the fort (big bloody deal, welcome to my world and get the kids off those bloody screens she mutters as she walks out the door). It’s a beautiful day out there but the football is about to start. Do you:

A) put the football out of your mind, quality time with your children in the great outdoors is far more important? You get that sing-song voice on again and suggest they all jump off those screens and come to the park to play frisbee (good luck with that by the way).

B) tell the kids they’ve only got five minutes left on the screens (which obviously means 45) and catch the first half of the game, before starting the challenge of getting the kids away from Dan TDM and out of the house?

C) bugger the fresh air malarkey, get the match on, get yourself horizontal on that sofa, phone in one hand, Peroni in the other and give the kids a fiver each to not tell their mum?

You are at the school summer fair, have just given your last £20 to your six year old, are carrying two manky second hand Barbie dolls and a Postman Pat van (which you donated, but the little S.H.I.T.s have bought back), when you notice a new Hot Mum manning the tombola. Mrs S.H.I.T. appears to have noticed too and is watching to see which direction your eyes have wandered. Do you:

A) quickly dart your eyes back to your wife and tell her how beautiful she is, and that you were the luckiest man on earth the day you set eyes on her? In fact you often see a resemblance to Angelina…

B) pretend you were checking out the home produce stall behind the tombola, and find yourself over there buying two jars of plum chutney and a homemade quiche?

C) say you’re off to check out the tombola prizes this year, and wander over to get a closer look? Bugger it, Hot Dad blatantly gets eyed up in the playground without a second thought for your feelings – with this in mind, you decide to go a step further and flirtily ask Hot Mum if it is possible to win her in the tombola. She looks at you as if she is about to be sick.

Mrs S.H.I.T. has purchased a new dress for her friend’s 40th – she looks like she’s nicked your granny’s curtains and wrapped them around herself, and her bum does look a little big (even Victoria Beckham’s would, to be fair, in this monstrosity). She says she wants to know what you really think. Do you:

A) say she looks stunning and is so beautiful she could get away with wearing a bin liner (which might be a better option in this case)?

B) suggest she might try one of her other dresses – what about the little black one she wore on your anniversary (please say it was black) because she was so gorgeous that night, and wasn’t it such a special evening after all? But no, of course her bum doesn’t look at all big in this one.

C) tell her she reminds you of a floral bedspread your grandma used to have in the 70’s, and there’s no way she can go out in that no matter how much it cost? Why lie, when she tells you you look ridiculous and are clearly going through a midlife crisis every time you put on your new skinny jeans, even though you never ask for her opinion?

The scores:

Mostly A’s: you are the dream husband. Kind, patient, complimentary and generally saying all the right things. Beware of being too nice however, as this will annoy her. Remember, you can never win.

Mostly B’s: you are doing a pretty good job. A few improvements could be made but all in all keep it up, and life will be fairly peaceful.

Mostly C’s: what on earth are you playing at? You actually say what you think and don’t seem to care. Are you out of your mind? You are treading on very thin ice and genuinely are a giant Mr SHIT.

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54 Comments

  1. May 23, 2017 / 2:17 pm

    I think most of the Bs were the most realistic, though some of these might be a bit mood dependent!

  2. May 23, 2017 / 3:36 pm

    Hee hee it’s like you’re inside their minds 🙂 Think Himself generally despairs of me although he’s a good egg (unless his team are playing then he wouldn’t notice if the house had gone up in flames while we were all inside)! #bigpinklink

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 4:03 pm

      Mr S.H.I.T. is the same when his team are playing – he can’t possibly concentrate on anything else! Hoping your hub didn’t get any C’s though I’m sure they’re all tempted to act in a C like way at times but they know life wouldn’t be worth living! Thx for reading x

  3. May 23, 2017 / 6:12 pm

    i can’t believe after almost 18 years my husband hasn’t learnt a thing, mind you if i just gave hime 15 minutes when he came through the door before off loading i’m fairly sure it would’ve been very different
    #tweensteensbeyond

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 4:04 pm

      I know, I just can’t help myself though because I’m desperate to offload by the time Mr S.H.I.T. comes through the door. He often tries to sneak up to our room just to get changed and have 5 mins to himself but I usually get to him first! Thx for reading x

  4. May 24, 2017 / 12:15 pm

    this is such a funny and creative post 🙂
    #bloggerclubuk

  5. sarahmo3w
    May 25, 2017 / 7:29 am

    Brilliant! This really made me laugh. I think my husband is a solid B! #TweenTeenBeyond

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 4:00 pm

      A solid B sounds pretty good to me – too many A’s is unrealistic I think! Thx for reading xx

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:59 pm

      Apparently some actually can – not many that I’ve ever met though! Thx for reading xx

  6. May 25, 2017 / 9:43 am

    I love a good quiz! Very funny. #ablogginggoodtime

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:59 pm

      Love a quiz too, thx for reading xx

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:58 pm

      Thx for reading – just a bit of fun at the expense of the men! xx

  7. May 25, 2017 / 12:06 pm

    So funny! C) Sounds more like, congratulations you’re a normal bloke. Reward yourself with a beer or whatever your treat of choice is

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:58 pm

      Absolutely – they’ve all got a bit of C in them I reckon – they just know it’s wise never to show it! Thx for reading xx

  8. May 25, 2017 / 12:09 pm

    HAHAHA! This is brilliant! I think my husband is a good mix of B with a hint of A but I know some days he has to work very hard not to be a C! #coolmumclub

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:57 pm

      He sounds like he’s doing pretty well then. I reckon they’d all love to be a C sometimes, but no life wouldn’t be worth living!! Thx for reading xx

  9. May 25, 2017 / 8:25 pm

    Great post! I particularly loved the talking about the hot dad question. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:56 pm

      There really is a hot dad, but all the dads try to guess who it is, and if it might be them! Obviously the only hot dad for me is Mr S.H.I.T!! Thx for reading xxx

  10. May 26, 2017 / 5:22 am

    Haha! I don’t think we have a hot dad at our school! A shame!

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:55 pm

      It’s so funny Kayleigh – all the dads wonder if it might be them! xx

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:55 pm

      Let me know how he gets on Vicki! I’m hoping he’s mostly A’s with maybe a couple of B’s! xx

  11. May 26, 2017 / 8:24 am

    Love this….so going to innocently leave this up on the computer screen for Mr C to take the test! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub with this xoxo

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:54 pm

      How did he get on? I’m hoping there were no C’s in there! Thx for reading xx

  12. May 28, 2017 / 9:11 am

    heheheh love this post – am going to ask Mr H to take the test now! 🙂

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:45 pm

      Hope he got A’s and B’s! Thx for reading x

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:45 pm

      Thx for reading it! Just a bit of fun! xx

  13. May 29, 2017 / 3:11 pm

    Well Mr MoT came out even stevens with A & B so not sure what kind of man that makes him other than a bloody clever one to still work out how to please me and get his own way! #TweensTeensBeyond

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      May 29, 2017 / 3:45 pm

      He sounds the perfect man! All A’s would be too much but a mixture of A’s and B’s is just how we like it I reckon. As long as he wasn’t getting any C’s! Thx for commenting and hosting as always. xx

  14. May 31, 2017 / 4:54 pm

    I think B’s but then who knows what goes on in their heads sometimes. Do we all rant when they walk in – tonight I’m not doing it – I have willpower! I think I might be some C’s if it was the other way round ‘#tweensteensbeyond

  15. May 31, 2017 / 5:59 pm

    Yup my husband is definitely all Aaaaaaaaaaa’s #not. I would say he’s a B+ lol this is so funny! You should make this an actual quiz and send into GQ or B&Q mag haha I would love to hear the responses. Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      June 3, 2017 / 10:48 pm

      Is there any husband out there who is an straight A student? I reckon we’re doing well if it’s mainly B’s with the odd C thrown in there! Thx for your lovely comment. Just a bit of fun for all the Mr S.H.I.Ts who drive us crazy but we couldn’t live without! xx

  16. June 3, 2017 / 1:59 am

    Upon my second reading I am seeing my of my husband in the S.H.I.T. category…UGH! Bad for him, but great post for you!!!

    #FridayFrolics

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      June 3, 2017 / 10:37 pm

      Oh no, this is not good! Think they all have big S.H.I.T. days though, sadly. Wouldn’t be them if they didn’t. Thx for commenting x

  17. June 3, 2017 / 8:12 am

    Ahahaha, loved this. Mr C does have a dose of C sometimes and it drives me insane! Might have to make him take this quiz… #FridayFrolics

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      June 3, 2017 / 10:35 pm

      At least he’s not all C’s though, that would be a worry! Let me know how he gets on… Thx for commenting and hosting #fridayfrolics x

  18. June 3, 2017 / 10:32 pm

    Another fab post as always, absolutely brilliant!! Thank you for sharing with the #bigpinklink x

  19. June 5, 2017 / 4:15 pm

    This is brilliant! I must get my husband, Ginge, to have a go at this quiz. I think he would be a mix of all three options to be honest! #PostsFromTheHeart

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      June 12, 2017 / 9:25 am

      Probably the most realistic responses would be a mix of the 3, although hopefully not too many C’s! Thx for doing the quiz xx

  20. Ha ha ha ha! Mine definitely fluctuates between all three depending on a)his mood b)weather he’s hungry or not and c)whether he thinks being all As means he’ll get lucky tonight! 😀 #postsfromtheheart

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      June 12, 2017 / 9:24 am

      I reckon they’d all secretly answer C to some of them but would never ever admit it for fear of the consequences. I’m sure you’re right about the getting lucky bit too! Thx for commenting xx

  21. June 6, 2017 / 1:35 pm

    This gave me a giggle this morning. I wonder what my character would be if this was swapped round. I’m not sure I would fare very well #PostsFromTheHeart

  22. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...
    June 6, 2017 / 9:35 pm

    Great post, I think my partner would be too scared to answer honestly in front of me 😀 #anythinggoes

  23. June 7, 2017 / 5:49 pm

    This is great, Looking forward to quizzing the Mr later! Thanks for joining #TriumphantTales, hope to see you back next week! 🙂

  24. Mom Of Two Little Girls
    June 8, 2017 / 1:26 pm

    Great post! I’m pretty sure you’re channelling ALL men!
    Oh, and you have a wine RESERVE??? WeLLjELL!

    #triumphanttales

  25. randommusings29
    June 9, 2017 / 5:09 pm

    Brilliant! I bet most people secretly think C but actually do B!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      June 12, 2017 / 9:21 am

      I agree, I’m sure the odd C would definitely creep in there but would anyone actually admit it?! Thx for commenting and hosting x

  26. June 18, 2017 / 8:43 pm

    Thanks for the giggle. My Mr Ordinary Hopes is generally pretty good but has room for improvement!

  27. October 7, 2017 / 12:58 pm

    Ha ha. I’m so gonna get Gorgeous George’s Daddy to take this 😂😂😂

    Ps. You really do have a thing for pop chips dontcha lol

    • Susie | So Happy In Town
      October 9, 2017 / 7:52 pm

      I can’t stop talking about Pop Chips can I? I’ve just realised my obsession! Thx for reading lovely x

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