After our recent C9 detox experiment (blog piece on here to mark the pain) my fellow lovely S.H.I.T C9-ers and I decided to go out for dinner to celebrate our successful deprivation of all things tasty. We also had to celebrate putting back on all the weight we managed to lose in those nine days of abstinence.
When we arranged this dinner, we were living on aloe vera gel that resembled semen, daily shakes and 600 calories a day. We were dreaming of fizz replacing the jizz, chips, steak, burgers – basically really yummy comfort food (or indeed any food at that point in time. I remember thinking I was in danger of eating one of my children). And where else to go than Kew Grill?
It’s one of Antony Worrall Thompson’s restaurants, nestled in the corner of Kew Green, opposite Kew Gardens. An unassuming brick exterior but as soon as you walk in, you feel warm and cosy, and at home.
Cool and slick Kew Grill is not. It’s homely and relaxing both in décor and food. I love the bare brick wall. So much so that we put one in our house. It’s cushions and carpet and quirky pictures crammed on the walls. It’s red wine and comforting steak and chips – the steak really does melt in your mouth. There are vegetarian options too but it’s renowned for its meatiness.
This is probably one of my favourite restaurants in the winter months.
And gluten free is never a problem which, being a coeliac, is obviously imperative for me. When chips are gluten free, I’m a happy camper.
It’s not a big space so there’s an intimate atmosphere and it’s always best when you book to bagsy one of the tables nearer to the entrance – that’s just my personal preference though, as I don’t like being near the bogs. You’d think I’d rather have easy access as I need to go so much these days, but it’s just one of those things. My S.H.I.T mates feel the same and that’s why, when I booked, I specifically asked for the cosy corner table near to the bar.
You can imagine the dismay from the girls therefore, as we were led to the very table we had wanted to avoid. That one right next to the toilet doors. Message did not compute obviously when I booked. Maybe he thought I’d said “Please can I have the table as close to the bogs as possible so I can smell the loo aroma, and I’ll need to go about fifteen times anyway so best not to have to walk too far.”
All was soon forgotten, however, once we settled into some prosecco and olives. There were exclamations of disgust when my friend produced a tub of the aloe vera gel that we had had to swallow everyday on the C9 journey, just to remind ourselves what we were missing. She gave us each a shot of jizz to down, and I kid you not, there was gagging, grimacing and holding of noses. Not dissimilar to the real thing then…
We all orderd the chilli squid to start, followed by steaks and burgers, buttered spinach and skinny fries. I love the skinny fries. There wasn’t much skinniness going on in this feast however but it was delicious.
Not sure the huge cheese platters we had to finish off were necessary but we weren’t holding back, and that was the whole point.
The service was impeccable as it always is, and the bonus on this occasion was that the man himself, Mr Worrall Thompson, made an appearance. I wanted to ask him about his stint in I’m a Celebrity, amongst other things obvs, but instead we gushed about his lovely restaurant. No fake gushing though, all true. We certainly filled our boots with fizz, red wine and great nosh, and joyfully binned the tub of aloe vera gel on our way out.
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