- Being forced to scroll through endless pics of skiing and beach holiday perfection on Facebook, as you sit in a heaving, sweaty soft play place, which smells of deep fried everything and cheesy kid feet.
- Kids on chocolate overdose. You tell them not to eat sugary snacks the rest of the year, and then let them loose on two large chocolate eggs, a bag of Marshmallow Flumps, a Curly Wurly and some Percy Piglets before 8am, and all because the Easter Bunny has been. This is parental absurdity at its best.
- The kids cannot believe how crazy stupid their parents have become. They are permitted to eat their own bodyweight in sugar in one day, because apparently a big, pink, fluffy bunny has been hopping round their garden dropping candy at 5am…wtf?
- You couldn’t have listened to another minute of those ‘inspiring’ YouTube legends such as DanTDM or SmallishBeans, getting all overexcited about something Minecrafty. But what’s a lot more fun is working out what your own YouTuber name would be. Mine is PerkyBigBum. Find out yours here.
- Guilt that you haven’t got an ‘egg tree’. Since when did people start putting up Easter decorations anyway? The world’s gone mad.
- Having to throw the iPad to the end of the garden (not very far if you’re S.H.I.T, but you might need to give it some Fatima Whitbread welly if you’re S.H.I.C. and you’ve got some outdoor space) just to get the kids to do some exercise. Just watch them run then.
- Chocolate egg chaos. Half eaten eggs in abundance around the house. Put down the remnants of that rejected Lindt Gold Bunny as you watch the Broadchurch finale. You know you’ll only feel like a big fat loser pig tomorrow. Plus you won’t sleep. Middle age + chocolate late at night = 5 minutes sleep at 6am.
- It’s back to school, and with that comes a chance to NOT listen to the five songs they play on loop on Capital Radio. Get Now 9 on, reminisce about your first snog, and get ready for the Great British summer ahead!
Please take no offence if you have an egg tree or any other such lovely Easter decoration. I am merely jealous.